Velvet Anniversary

Never to be outdone by the world's multitudes, we the living seem transfixed by only one thing today written by one person who seems to have mastered the art of transfixion of a swath of people, if nothing else. Sure, why not? Is it not the custom of this country, if not the rest of Western Civilization, to flaunt one's very self when one has met the ends to do so, even if the means were more than a little suspect? This would seem to be the case if we are to get any indication from our major centers of commentary of the day. Though when not obsessing over celebraties or something similar, these magazines and websites still have things to do; policies to decry, praises to sing, events and non-events to inventory, and milestones to commemorate. This post is directed to the last item.

1989 brought much for us to celebrate and revel in as it did for us to despair over. As the ghoulish Reagan stepped down from his perch in power so, too, did the Satanic spectre of Communism, more specifically Soviet-style communism start its undignified decline. What was then called the USSR was finding itself more and more unsustainable, and while trying to compromise in some way, as China was also doing at the time (obviously with greater success), they simply (officially) ended the Revolution in 1991. As with the fall of any bloated empire, this gives various conquered or otherwise imperially influenced nations a rare opportunity to breathe in the sweet air of freedom, or at the very least, to be ruled over by figureheads not too dissimilar from the former figureheads, but from the same country, a cold comfort but comfort nonetheless.

Some complain that the end of the USSR's grip on eastern Europe overly vindicated the "neoconservatives" -- even though a good percentage of them were largley wrong about the USSR's condition -- while also leaving them frothing for more black and white-hued conflict. True in a way, though the same can be said with the American Revolution, the American Civil War and World War II, so we will never run out of things for moral tightwads to manipulate in order to assert their rightness. But with the fall of communism there is something for everyone, perhaps even Stalinists, to enjoy. Perhaps the most celebratory was the one whose 20th anniversary is being marked this week: Czechoslovokia's Velvet Revolution.

Most people remember fondly the fall of the Berlin Wall, but since it lends itself too readily to symbolism and Reaganistic simplification it's not that interesting. Czechoslovakia's break with Soviet-style oppression on the other hand is rich with complexity, tension, uncertainty, emotion and downright bizarreness. The struggles undertaken to achieve freedom and the outcomes that rose out of achieving said freedom make it particularly memorable.

Up until November of 1989, Czechoslovakia had been under the control of a particularly dissent-sensitive communist regime, coming closer than any other nation in the Eastern Bloc to embodying Big Brother. While a dissident movement had been in place well before 1989, to have actually called it a movement would have been far too generous. Ever since the spectacular failure of the Prague Spring period of 1968, a brief period of liberalization at the hands of insider Alexander Dubček put to an end quickly by the USSR's invasion of the country, the underground opposition had more going for it outside the country than in it. In addition to having his weird plays banned from being performed, writer Vaclav Havel and others like him faced not simply brutal discomfort, but total ruin for their underground activities, often in form of a DIY samizdat. They did not waver of course, with Havel going so far as to write a sprawling open letter (in addition to several other powerful essays) to Dubček's puppet replacement Gustáv Husák, telling him, to put it simply, how much his government blew. Havel was, indeed, jailed often for his activities and even risked execution by simply signing the Charter 77 manifesto (some say he played a significant part in its writing as well) that started circulating in the year of which the group was named.

Come twelve years hence, Charter 77 quickly evolved into Civic Forum upon noticing that, in the wake of the Berlin Wall incident, Poland's recent success in democratization, and their own government's potential to duplicate if not exceed the violence of Tiananmen Square earlier that year in the wake of mass strikes and protests, they had to actually organize an opposition; the Prague aesthetes had to meet the rest of the country. The meeting may well have been awkward, but it was fruitful. The Communist Party of Czechoslovakia gave up on November 28, and despite the obvious anxiety of what was to be done following that, Havel, Dubček and their colleagues were celebrated as heroes. The strangest product of this success was, of course, the election of the disheveld, chain-smoking playwright Havel as the reformed nation's first post-communist president. His actual presidency bore mixed results (chief among them the "Velvet Divorce" between the Czech Republic and Slovakia which I simultaneously remember and forget having happened), but no one can say he wasn't one of the coolest heads of state in the world -- after all, the term "Velvet Revolution" was inspired in part by Havel's admiration for the Velvet Underground. By that time our nation had been around for over two centuries and it wouldn't be for another two decades until the first cool President* would set foot in the White House. The Czech Republic itself flourishes as one of the more exotic parts of Europe. One can go so far as to declare Prague the thinking man's Paris, which is the poor man's Madrid. And the Velvet Divorce was actually quite civil compared to the horrorific unraveling of Yugoslavia around the same time.

Strangely, neither Havel nor Dubček, or anyone else, earned that oddly still-coveted Nobel prize for peace, and they actually did something, risking much in the process. The Scandinavians are a brilliant people, so one wonders why they have to imitate the Oscars and get all political on the rest of society. Whatever. Fond recollections here and here; a poigniant essay on Havel by David Remnick here; another interesting one from Slavoj Žižek here; another good one in Reason here; a report on the revolution from 1989 here. Anyone interested in checking out Havel's writing, its widely available on Amazon.com. I personally recommend Open Letters, which assembles his best essays and The Art of the Impossible which offers strong evidence to support the assertion that Havel is, if anything, one of the best speechwriters of the modern age, some of which are also online here.

* Lincoln notwithstanding. He was a laugh riot in his time but his tendency for self-deprecation was simply to far ahead of Tina Fey to ever be considered cool.

Performance-enhancement: The Redefining

Okay, so this doesn't work out for every single person who trips, but it's quite the opposite for some, and just because some people are truly horrendous at taking hallucinogens, that shouldn't ruin it for others. Case in point: former Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis, a true American superman who imbibed himself with more than a few far from legal substances, not least of all LSD, and pitched a no-hitter against the San Diego Padres in 1970. It has been delightfully re-enacted in the following short film for your reference.



I'll consider voting for Obama in '12 if he agrees to posthumously award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to this man, against whom all subsequent drug-enhanced achievments shall be judged.

The Art of Saying I [Fucking] Told You So

I don't follow the concept of good vs. evil. For me it has always been a kind of crutch for people who don't know anything to profess vast knowledge of some random intellectual sweet-nothing that fizzles into vapor five minutes following its utterance with little memory of the circumstances that brought about its utterance. Also it's boring; boring to the point that one who endures it simply begs for euthanasia without having any real disease. (It's a shame being of average health is a pre-existing condition.) Every now and then, however, I award myself some occasion for inconsistency, especially when it allows me to point out what I deem a crippling folly of the general citizenry and those they allow to have power.

Some say I was raised conservative, I know not where they got that notion -- other than what I assume is some people's insipid rendering of what constitutes Republican thinking, thinking of a party which I don't think my dad is registered under anyway, not that he'd tell me -- but a more accurate, and far more horrific assessment is that I was raised moderate. I was raised under the belief that when doing nothing fails, the continuation of doing nothing will doubtlessly succeed. As it so often goes, the most evil of things are the most banal, and it gets no more banal than the particular line of thinking -- if one can call it that -- of towing the line, of being neutral, of favoring paralyzing inaction over mostly dangerous but sometimes fruitful action. Given the much hyped atmosphere of partisan bickering that runs rampant in the streets -- and even on Capitol Hill -- these days it's understandable that some people would find centrism to be a calming influence on American political dialogue. Imagine some brave, stoic congressman stepping to the floor and saying: "Hey, let's shut the fuck up and work shit out." Fine sentiment that the rabble eat up in troffs, but vague enough to hide the true intent: "You guys can either set the country aflame with your policies or we can get out our redacting pens and push this baby through just in time for happy hour and without pissing anybody off."

Despite some claims, we are of course a center-right nation (much to the sick joy of media mega-tool Jon Meacham), and haven't truly deviated from that since no later than 1970, sort of. Moderates have been in the spotlight as a result of our healthcare nonsense. The bill passed in the House over the weekend, but not after getting hit with lame counter-suggestions that connected the hands of people who were never really separate to begin with and concessions that translate as less-than-subtle fuck you's to a particular party's true believers.

It's a mess, and one that I anticipated in both issues of the magazine. (While, mind you, not having known that Thomas Frank, in The Baffler before me, had anticipated the same thing.) People can go about their business under the assumption that these moderates have seemingly staved off neo-Johnsonian chaos for at least a few more days. They'll rest easy knowing that compromises have been made to assure that much of their lives will remain the same as the lives of those they exploit -- however intentionally or unintentionally -- grow more desperate, which also is a consistent condition in centrist-land. Of course Slate.com offers evidence that such a heaven is weaker than one may think.

Mr. Beam notes that reform lobbyists such as MoveOn.org are so tickled that these moderate Democrats would go out of their way to vote in favor of the bill that they are spending a good deal of their funding thanking them. However, the moderates should know all too well by now that courting actual policy positions -- however bland -- that are connected to actual interests puts their jobs at risk. As Beam notes in the final paragraph, whatever honeymoon these centrists have with actual progress can turn rapidly into a divorce once they inevitably return to their comfort zone of numbness,

In classic carrot/stick form, MoveOn is stimultaneously threatening to take down any Senate Democrats who oppose health care reform. They're already running ads criticizing Democrats who voted against the bill. Meanwhile, members of MoveOn have pledged a total of $3.5 million to fund primary challenges against any dissident Dems. If a promise to thank you for supporting health care reform doesn't work, maybe a threat to punish you for opposing it will.

In essence, no one should really care if these people lose their jobs or not. They fucked up, so democracy must spin its wheels, anyone who holds dear the belief that their leaders are consistantly good at what they do is grounds for a Wilsonian-style treason arrest -- of course anyone who hold dear the belief that incumbents should be usurped because everyone else is saying it all of a sudden has an equal value in retardation. Whatever the case, it should be a lesson to up-and-coming centrists that if their going to be their irritating little selves at least take a few lessons from some of the more daring masters.